Talking to Myself

I've figured out that using a date as the framing device of the book will make the biographical digressions feel disjointed. Splitting them up among conversations with a friend (I'll need to take lots of photos of each of you) and a psychiatrist (probably modeled on Freud or Jung) would make more sense.

In the mean time, here's the very first draft of another section:

Man in the Mirror (Summer 2006)

Jeff looks into a mirror.

Jeff: "Hi, we need to talk."

Mirror Jeff: "Yeah, there's never been a good conversation that began with that line. Get on with it."

"I don't want to be you anymore."

"What?"

"Look, I don't deny that you've done a great deal of things for me. You've made me smarter, gotten me a bunch of good friends..."

"I've kept you alive for all these years."

"No. You've enabled my survival. But I am definitely not alive."

"What kind of existential bullshit is this?"

"When was the last time we went on a date?"

"Liz G, two years ago."

"And how did that go, exactly?"

"Not well."

"When's the last time we kissed a girl?"

"Er, does on the cheek count?"

"NO IT BLOODY FUCKING DOESN'T COUNT!"

"When was the last time we felt comfortable in our skin? Have we ever liked ourselves?"

"..."

"And how old are we?"

"On the verge of 28."

"You know that Steve Carrell movie? That's going to be us if we don't change."

"I'm not very comfortable with change."

"Oh no? Do you like feeling lonely all the time? Do you enjoy crying yourself to sleep because of it, with your arms wrapped around yourself, because no one else will hold you?"

"..."

"What do you propose?"

"For starters, we're going to try to pay attention to that gym membership we've been wasting money on."

"Exercise?"

"And maybe cut back on the Haagen-Dasz."

"The first was bad enough, but this is a kick in the balls."

"It's past time we got a hair cut. It's far long enough to donate to Locks of Love. Grow a beard, while you're at it."

"That's easy enough."

"New, smaller glasses would be a good idea, too."

"Deal. What about you?"

"I'm going to look into getting therapy. We've obviously got some emotional issues to deal with. Social anxiety, fear, depression, distrust, self-hatred, etc."

"Sounds like fun."

"We've got to get out of this shell - no, we've got to destroy this shell - because no one else is going to enter it to be with us."

"Do we really have to?"

"It beats being a smear beneath the subway trains."

"Such a sunny disposition we have."

"We're going to get through this. We'll come out stronger, and more importantly, happier."

"I can live with that."

"Good, because there isn't another option."