I CAN'T FUCKING SLEEP!!!!!

Allow me to explain. Or not. See if I care.

I work second shift at a small printing company in lower Manhattan. I get into work around 4 PM, and leave shortly after midnight, occasionally later depending on how busy things get.

This past Thursday, I worked a 15 hour shift. I did not leave work until 7:13 AM Friday morning. What tends to happen when I pull all-nighters is that I get mentally wired. My body gets pissed off, but my brain refuses to shut down. I took the train home, picked up some groceries, and chatted with my one of my roommates, who just finished breakfast. My goal was to stay up the rest of the day and crash around 10 PM, so I could experience the weekend like a normal person. I wanted to get up early so I could visit Chris & his family, two weeks before their next child is due.

I did sleep for about two hours Friday, from 11 AM to 1 PM. I forgot to switch off my alarm clocks (yes, "clocks" is plural for a reason). I was up and about again, and spent most of the time reading message boards and news articles. When prime time came around, I watched a couple hours of television. It made me a bit drowsy. I reset my alarms for 7:30 AM, and shut everything else off in anticipation of a temporary coma.

I fell asleep around 11 PM, but woke up again at 1 AM, FOR NO REASON. The brain just would not stop working. It was playing four vastly different songs on top of each other, trying to re-write the ending of the story I wrote two days ago, reminded me about a mail-in rebate form I need to fill out, pondered what time of day I need to take reference photos for the story and when I'll get my camera back from Bowie, reminded me that one of my roommates' birthday is on Sunday and that one of the gifts I ordered hasn't come in yet, and contemplated how gloriously smooth Godiva's milk chocolate ice cream is.

After many attempts to silence my mind, I finally passed out around 6 AM Saturday. The alarms went off on schedule, and I hit the snooze buttons many times. A little after 8, I turned on my phone and sent a text message to Carlos that I'd be late meeting him & Tara at Grand Central Station, and not to wait for me. I finally got out of bed at nine, and left the house at 10:30.

The subway had some delays due to construction, and I was able to catch the 11:37 train with minutes to spare. When I got to Port Chester, I chugged two 16 ounce cans of a Red Bull-like substance, and started to wake up. Little Isaiah was adorable, and that helped a bit, too.

A good time was had by all, and I got home around 8:30 PM, obviously very tired. I was asleep by 10.

I woke up 90 minutes later, for no reason. I thought, "did I sleep for 24 hours or something?" I walked around the apartment, no one was home. I didn't feel very tired, and since I wasn't sure of what day it was, I turned on my computer. Sure enough, it's still Saturday. I shut it off, and tried going back to sleep.

Then the mental noise kicked in.

Shit.

What's an insomniac to do?

I've read more message boards & blogs, started writing this, and enjoyed more ice cream. The ice cream probably isn't a good idea. Like I need more sugar.

Before anyone suggests it, I've tried sleeping pills. They don't work.

Once I get insurance, I'll see a doctor about it. Until then, I'm screwed.

And very tired.