Thursday, September 15, 2005

Rant Bomb, part 5

Last year, I went upstate for Christmas and visited my family. I don't really fit in with any of them. I'm either a few years older or a few years younger than everyone else in my generation. And we all know how I feel about my sister, who's only three years younger than I am.

I have family scattered across the country, mostly in the west. Those I would feel most comfortable with live in Minnesota, Arizona, and California. However, I have two cousins in New York that I don't feel terribly out of place with, so the 200-mile annual guilt trip isn't a total wash. Logan and Danielle are roughly the same age (19), just five months apart. They both have skills and/or natural talents, A PURPOSE, outside of being 1/2 of a baby factory. Logan's becoming a computer scientist or something like that. Danielle, aside from myself, is the only person in our generation with artistic talent. It's only developed in the past four years, but she knew she had something that could grow. Danielle is an only child. When she was younger, she was more of the girly princess type. In her mid to late teens, she became more tomboyish, with a hint of gothness. I guess all that came out with her artistic abilities.

Last Christmas marked the end of their first semesters in college. Danielle came home with her boyfriend, a guy from Canada, who's my age. He seemed decent enough at the time, but I got a vibe from him I didn't like. I left it alone, though. Danielle made a decision to drop out of college and live with the guy and his mom across the border. I put on the façade of "hey, fine, whatever," but my brain was screaming, "are you out of your fucking mind?! Go back to school, stupid!"

A few weeks later, Danielle moved back with her parents. Her boyfriends' mother said there was no more room at the inn. Oh, and by the way, she's pregnant. Imagine that. Little Noah was born last week, premature, weighing just under five pounds. He's in an incubator in Albany right now. Meanwhile, Fuckstick McDouchebag is in Canada, with his mom, his girlfriend, and their kid.

Now, she's yet another single mom, another sad statistic, without much of a future other than raising her son. Her hopes and dreams died the day she gave birth. She argues with her parents a lot. She's unemployed, stuck in a small, shitty town. My family has a Catholic background; abortion was never considered. I certainly wasn't going to suggest it. Despite all my liberal ideals, I really don't like that, even though I believe it should stay legal. One sentiment that got passed around by some family members was hope for a miscarriage. It's an extremely sad idea, and you can't even think it without feeling like a monster, but when you look at the situation everyone's in, you start thinking about alternatives. Who knows, maybe she'll decide on adoption?

With all of that in consideration, actually going forth with the pregnancy and deciding to care for the child and taking responsibility for her actions is a pretty brave and noble thing. I'm not about to fault her for that.

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