Zing!

Gennessee, another high school classmate, has contacted me through Myspace (they're coming out of the woodwork!). In our conversation, she reminded me of one of her ex-boyfriends.

In my senior year of high school, I had begun to come out of my shell (something I'm still 2/3 in). I'm not exactly the smartest person in the world, and I'm horrible at thinking on my feet. But somehow, I managed to get a good line in occasionally.

In Mr. Wagner's first period economics class, we usually didn't have much to cover. Half of the time was a free-for-all study hall. Conversations erupted. Kris, a guy I went to the Vo-Tec school with (and occasional bully/class clown), went on about how quickly he could reassemble a carburetor. Lisa was listening in and provided the perfect setup:

"Gee, Kris, it sounds like you got a lot of time on your hands."

I took the bait:

"More like all over his hands."

Yeah, nothing beats a masturbation joke first thing in the morning. Mr. Wagner buried his face in his hands, trying not to show how red his face got with laughter. The rest of the class went "Oohhh!" Seated behind me, my friend & fellow smart ass Jennifer slapped me in the back of the head. I turned around, puzzled, and asked her "what did you do that for?"

"I was going to say that!"

This all sent Kris into a fit of rage. I've unfortunately forgotten his responses, but they were even better setups. Each time he opened his mouth, I responded with more quips. He got so pissed, he had to leave the room to cool off. Kris was frothing at the mouth. I left him alone for the rest of the day. I didn't want to break the camel's back.